Exploring Your Sexual Fantasies Will Strengthen Your Relationship

Exploring Your Sexual Fantasies
Will Strengthen Your Relationship

We all have sexual fantasies we are afraid to share with anyone. But opening up to your partner about some of the kinky thoughts that turn you on can lead to greater sexual communication, sexual satisfaction, and relationship satisfaction. It can also lead to a valuable sense of self acceptance.

Fantasies can range from participating to watching and from groups to singles. It is okay to have a healthy imagination.

Sharing Fantasies Can Strengthen Your Relationship

Reaching the point where you feel comfortable sharing your private fantasies can as difficult as it is important. Getting to that point can mean overcoming a lot of fear and finding a lot of trust. You may worry that your partner will see you differently, or reject you. But taking the leap and opening up can be hugely rewarding and fulfilling. You might even find out that you and your partner have the same thing on your minds and have similar fantasies that both of you were scared to address. Opening up and talking about these fantasies will be one of the most healthy things you can do with your partner.

Keeping your fantasies to yourself for the wrong reasons, such as fear, can make you feel inadequate, shame-ridden, and isolated. You will know what’s missing in the sex you are having, but if you are not sharing this with your partner, you are likely to feel resentful, and it will be difficult for you to get what you need. On the other hand, talking about your fantasies could make you feel more comfortable, more connected to your partner, and more sexually confident, as well as giving you more opportunity for partnership and creativity in your sex life. It can help you get closer to your partner by learning more about each other and what you enjoy.

It Is Important To Share Your Thoughts

Letting your partner know what turns you on takes trust and vulnerability, and it goes without saying that if you’re not ready to be open about your fantasies yet, it’s nothing to be ashamed about. For some people, it never seems like the right time. Assure your partner that not all fantasies have to come true and some fantasies you might have may manifest themselves in some other form of altered play. The first goal is to work on getting to a place where you feel comfortable with yourself before you feel comfortable communicating your fantasies with your partner. Or perhaps you need to improve your overall communication within your relationship before you are both prepared to have a mature and lighthearted conversation about your kinks. It can be intimidating to let her know you dream about her tying you up and pegging you until you can’t remember your own name.

It's Okay If You Aren't Ready To Explore Your Fantasies

Don’t be surprised if she finds it just as difficult to explain that she daydreams about you learning Shibari, incapacitating her and teaching her how to swallow your cock the right way once and for all. And, keep listening when her fantasy doesn’t include you doing those things, but instead Liam from the market up the street.

Of course those might be fantasies that you are ready and willing to hear, but not always the ones that manifest themselves.

In order to not be shocked or even offended by your partner’s inner most turn-ons or needs, the conversation must be started. It is much more healthy to talk and listen to those needs than keeping them bottled up. If you’re not quite ready to open up about your desires with a partner, know that taking some time to figure yourself out is okay. If you do share your fantasies with a partner who is accepting, they can help you feel more comfortable with who you are. Do you feel like you can tell your partner anything? If the answer is no, it might be helpful to take time to sort through that first.

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Some Common Fantasies By Couples

A threesome.
Being gang banged.
Celebrity crush.
Watching another couple have sex.
Sex with an ex lover.
Sex with your friend’s husband/wife.

Going to a swinger’s party.
Fucking a boy band.
Laying back and being spoiled.
Being submissive/bondage.
Infidelity.
Sex in a school uniform.

Strap-ons or anal sex.
Sex with older or younger person.
Watched by a group.
Sex in public.
Sex in a certain location.
Sensory deprivation.

Some Research:

Drawing on his experience as a sex therapist and from his patients’ actual fantasies, the author shows readers how to heighten their sex lives through indulging in their fantasies, with the help of full-color drawings. Original. 25,000 first printing.

Based on this study, Tell Me What You Want offers an unprecedented look into our fantasy worlds and what they reveal about us. It helps readers to better understand their own sexual desires and how to attain them within their relationships, but also to appreciate why the desires of their partners may be so incredibly different.

In the largest study ever undertaken on sexual fantasy, world-renowned psychotherapist and researcher Brett Kahr reveals the astonishing truths behind secrecy, shame, and taboo in this groundbreaking book based on surveys of 23,000 men and women from eighteen to ninety years of age. The definitive account of what our fantasies tell us about ourselves, Who’s Been Sleeping in Your Head? overturns conventional wisdom about sexuality today.

Decades of research on sexual communication confirms the shocking fact that rates of sexual self-disclosure between partners are surprisingly low. However, it’s scientifically documented that couples who engage in open communication about their sexual needs have significantly higher rates of sexual satisfaction in their relationship!