Emotionally Connect

Be vulnerable to your partner. Getting your partner in the mood for sex may require a dip into emotional intimacy.  Men and women associate sex with emotional intimacy, so you should get to know what emotionally triggers your mate. “The deeper you go, while taking care to avoid oversharing, the greater your opportunity to create emotional (and physical) intimacy with others,” says Dr. Susanna Wu-Pong Calvert.

How About a Cuddle?

Don’t underestimate the power of touch. Most of us crave the touch of our partners. Even when we don’t want to be touched, touch can change a mood and lead directly to sex. Psychology Today author Dr. Herbenick says, “A recent study at The Kinsey Institute found that, for men in long term relationships and marriages, their sexual satisfaction was linked to the amount of touching and cuddling they experienced with their partner.” Cuddling, offering a massage, or simply running your fingers through your partner’s hair can get them to say “Sex Tonight? Yes Please!”

Know Your Partner’s Language

Most of us have heard of the book The Five Languages of Love.  5lovelanguages.com tells us the basic premise is, “different people experience love in different ways.” By clicking on the link above you can take a quiz to help you understand what makes your partner feel loved.  When we feel loved, we are often more likely to be in the mood for sex.

 Ask For It

There is no more potent aphrodisiac than knowing you are wanted. However, you can’t treat your partner like a sex object. Be subtle. Whisper in their ear how good they smell or how they turn you on. Write them a note and put it in their briefcase, lunch, or purse.  The point is to let your partner know that YOU are in the mood for sex. Let your partner know how much you want them and see if they don’t say, “Sex tonight? Yes please!”